I took a 3-week hiatus from Facebook to gain clarity and peace of mind. As soon as I decided I’d get social again, I logged on to see the Supreme Court overturn Roe Vs. Wade.
I have had three abortions. Safe to say, I was using them as birth control. I was 19, 20, and 21. I was with a man who would often give me busted lips, spit on me, and belittle me; he even put me out on the side of the highway once. He was manipulative, and I was looking for love, so we made the perfect trauma bond duo. I used to say I had no clue why I would even continue to sleep with a man like that, but now I know it was the lack of love for myself. Not to mention he was ten years my senior.
As soon as he hit me, he would soothe it by buying me something expensive or taking me somewhere nice. If it weren’t for my mother, I would be the mom of an 11, 10, and 9-year-old. My mom saw what I was going through, but she knew I had a hard head. She always said a hard head makes a soft ass! So she let me go through the motions, and she came running every time I called crying. She talked me out of having every last one of those babies. Ultimately it was always my decision, but she was that angel voice I needed during the tumultuous times. I couldn’t even FATHOM having to co-parent with such a disturbed person. I am ever so grateful that abortion was available to me during those times.
It’s the lack of comprehensive sex education for me. I have always been against using birth control; it gave me terrible side effects: blood clots, cramps, and heavy bleeding. And no one gave me information on how my body works. I’m talking about tracking my period and ovulation. It’s not easy to conceive, you have to have semen in the vaginal canal during ovulation, and you only ovulate seven days a month. If we educated more young women on how their bodies worked, we would have fewer unwanted pregnancies. If more young women understood the value and sacredness of their womb space, they wouldn’t be so quick to give it up to Bob, Billy, and Joe.
If more young men understood that sex was designed to build them up and not drain them, they wouldn’t be so quick to let Susie fuck!
Religion teaches us that sex is the devil and we shouldn’t do it. They give no other information on what can happen to your energetic aura and self-worth when you consistently allow lust demons to penetrate you without intention or purpose. After going on my celibacy journey for the first time in 18 years, I’ve gained so much insight into why Celibacy is THE BEST OPTION. I stand on that. And that’s coming from a woman that literally would crave and seek dick out like a fiend. I miss it, I miss the temporary highs, the temporary pleasure, but I do not miss the lasting effects it had on my aura. I’ve slipped a couple of times, hence why it’s called a journey, but for the most part, I’ve done fantastic, and the results have been life-changing. I will play my role as a reforMING whore, to educate young women on why it’s best to abstain, and I’ll do that by sharing my life experiences. I did it, so you won’t have to.
Granted, we will still have some hard heads out there. For those young ladies, they must understand the consequences of frivolous, meaningless sex. Porn is doing most of the teaching, a mundane, monotonous technique that keeps us longing for more. We allow semen inside us that drains our sexual energy and keeps us moving at a low vibration, creating trauma babies out of lust, not love! We settle into fucked up relationships that we otherwise wouldn’t have sought out.
I always thought I was healed from my abortions until they returned to haunt me when I had my baby in 2021. I opted for a home birth. I had my mind ready to take on this difficult task. But for some reason, my cervix wouldn’t dilate past 7. My midwife examined me and learned that I had massive scar tissue on my cervix, preventing dilation. I cried and cried because, at that moment, I felt so defeated.
I do not want young women to have to go through an abortion. And because it’s no longer an option in many states, I prefer we EDUCATE!! It’s time to have the hard conversations, and I’m talking NOW. Your child deserves age-appropriate sex education straight up out the womb. Face it, they are sexual beings just as much as they are spiritual beings, and if you don’t teach them what they have a RIGHT to know about their bodies, life will.
I follow the FLO app. It’s a fantastic app that tracks your period and ovulation. You can track how you feel throughout the month, allowing the app to come up with more accurate information. You will get to know your body so well that you can feel when you’re ovulating. It’s my favorite time of the month! My pussy is so wet and juicy! It smells sweet like nectar; quite frankly, the sex is THE BEST during this time—however, a prime time to conceive. If a baby isn’t wanted, this is a great time to talk to your partner about semen retention and the pull-out method. No semen should be in your guts during this time if you don’t want a child.
It’s time we talk to our kids about pornography and the adverse effects it can have on their psyche.
Over 68 million searches are conducted on Porn sites DAILY! I would almost bet my life that your child is one of them. If they are watching ass-to-mouth porn, it’s an excellent time for the sex talk! Believe it or not, I have had moms come to me, afraid to talk to their babies about sex AFTER finding out they’ve been watching porn for months. I rather you be uncomfortable talking about dick and pussy, than how to install a car seat for a 16 yo. Let’s ditch the taboo feeling around sex and open our eyes to the higher forms and possibilities that intentional sex can bring.
There are way too many of us that suffer from trauma because we were not made from love! Abortion is no longer an option, so have the conversations! I will be doing my part, will you?
PS. Can we get into this FABULOUS summer tan though? 😆 What they say? The Blacker the berry the sweeter the juice? ❤️