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You don’t trust yourself.

I thought long and hard about offering couples sessions again. I’ve offered them since beginning this work, but unfortunately, they no longer fit with the flow of my practice. I’m hoping that as my spirit continues to grow and evolve, I can restructure how I go about offering couples sessions so they can be more aligned with my purpose. In the meantime, couples sessions will no longer be available, and here’s why.

We don’t trust our partners, and we definitely don’t trust ourselves. You all come to me for help, with a partner you don’t trust, and really have no intentions of trusting any time soon. ”Receiving requires a deep vulnerability that puts us face to face with being loved, seen, witnessed, acknowledged, considered, and cared for. If the above is foreign to you, you might find yourself rejecting it.“ Tantra is all about letting go and receiving from your partner. To be vulnerable and intimate requires a deep level of trust, and many of you don’t trust because you never took the time to get to know your partner in the beginning.

When we take the time to get to know someone, we can always trust that they will be themselves, more importantly, we can trust in the fact that we can see them well. Trust a liar to lie to you, a snake to bite you, ext.

We don’t trust ourselves enough to discern who an individual is because we get blinded by lust. Lust is fast, love is slow. The dope(dopamine) dick/pussy creates an unhealthy attachment to a person, and now you are chasing this relationship out of fear instead of love. The relationship is ruled by jealousy, trauma, toxicity, ext. You have no idea who this person is, what their core values or belief systems are, what their parenting styles are, religious views, ext. The core foundation of the relationship is rushed, lustful sex and lust comes in waves and leaves as fast as it comes. Once reality sets in and who we truly are is coming to the surface, you cannot be vulnerable around an individual who never took the time to get to know you, past the dope dick/pussy. Really see you, your flaws, your insecurities, your traumas. So, you put up a wall to protect yourself from the person you “love (lust).” I never see that wall come down during my couple's sessions.

The proper way to get into a relationship is to completely love yourself first. Get in a relationship with self, heal all of your trauma, know yourself and what you desire completely, then attract a divine partner that matches that frequency. If that means being celibate for years or decades, then so be it. When we have sex with other traumatized individuals, it creates more trauma inside of us. They are under the illusion that they can heal each other, and that is called trauma-based attachment, not love.

I find that individuals are much more willing to be vulnerable when they are alone with me. They are willing to let go of all the shame, guilt, and doubt, and allow themselves to be seen. I will no longer hold space for two traumatized individuals that are not fully ready to be vulnerable and free in front of one another. My recommendation is to come to me alone, so you can understand what real love feels like. Sex should never be mundane and rushed, it's a slow dance. The slower you go the more love you feel and your sensitivity will increase. We have never been taught this because this society lacks proper sex education. "Simply surrendering to the moment of slow stroking, eye gazing, affirmation reading, deep breathing, tantric sex will increase the quality of your life." Sex was never meant to deplete your energy, but rather charge it up. My practice will give you a glimpse into what all of this feels like. Once you feel it, the dormant sexual energy will naturally awaken, and you will be able to go back and communicate your findings with a partner. It will then be up to them to do their own work/healing, and be receptive to your needs.

"You can either cultivate the DIVINE RELATIONSHIP with yourself first and then attract a DIVINE partner who cultivates it with you. Or settle for the most mundane type of orgasms and sex that most people settle for because they aren't even aware that a higher version exists."

The choice is yours. Smile, and give thanks.



* Blog post inspired by Devonte Sheard, sexual alchemy coach, and teacher.

All air quotes are his words. I give thanks to the most high for his teachings.

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