Since I was a little girl I always felt weird. I could always hear my intution loud and clear. I could feel a room before anyone ever opened their mouths. Because of this I knew I was different. I knew I didn’t fit in, and that made me sad as a youngin. I wanted so badly to fit in, so I tried. I tried to fit in with chicks that secretly hated my guts. I tried to fit in with bitches that talked about me behind my back. I even tried to fit in with the girls that bullied me. I know, crazy. I never found my tribe as a little girl. So what did I do? I used sex as an escape. I fucked to numb that pain of not being enough. For years I was extremely lonely 😞 and I dibbled and dabbled with man after man to constantly escape that pain. Why doesn’t anyone like me? Well, maybe because you weren’t being who you really are, young Nikki. The free, quirky, dorky chick i truly was, I thought was to square to be presented. It wasn’t until about 3 years ago I truly came out as my authentic self. I created a online community called #PussyTrauma. It was a safe space for specifically African American women to be free in their sexuality without fearing judgement from themselves or others. As the facilitator and founder I knew I had to come hard with the transparency in order to resonate with my audience. So that’s what I did. Sitting behind a computer screen I finally had enough courage to be myself. The quirky, free, fun loving, cussing, sexually uninhibited, freak! They ate it up! My authenticity was finally validated. I finally felt like a bad ass boss bitch being exactly who I was. That gave me the confidence to start walking in my truth unapologetically. I grew that community to over 30,000 women before Facebook decided it didn’t belong on their platform. I was devastated when I found out we had been removed, but then a little birdy told me the group had served its purpose. It was there to bring me out of my shell and show me my true power. With recognizing that power I was then able to cultivate real relationships with people that accepted me for me. I didn’t even have to go searching for these individuals, they were naturally aligned with my new found boss bitch frequency. Not only did the friends show themselves, but the career, the passion, the purpose. It all found it’s way to me at such divine timing.
I’ve chosen to move forward with the hard, courageous route of being who I am authentically and not giving a fuck what anyone has to say about it. I’ve lost family members that don’t agree with who I am, I’ve lost “friends.” While its a hard pill to swallow, I continuously remind myself that me living authentically is bigger than me. When I shine my light, I give permission to others to shine theirs as well. Even if their light looks different from mine, sometimes it still takes seeing someone that dared to dream to feel like you can to. And because of that I’ll never go back where I came from. I don’t give a fuck if I lose every fucking body that I once knew. I will never compromise my truth to appease another motha fucker, or to make another motha fucker comfortable. What you see is quite frankly what you get at this point in my life. If me showing my ass bothers you, bye. If me showing my tits online bother you, bye. If me talking about SEX bothers you, BYE!
I hope this message reminds you to BE YOURSELF. No matter what! You may lose some people, but trust me you don’t want those folk in your life anyway! The ones that are aligned with your true soul purpose will be naturally drawn to you! Cheers to never compromising! We got shit to do! ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Comments