I can’t believe I’m saying this! Life really has a way of switching things up on you, very quickly! As you all know I started my celibacy journey about four months ago. It has been quite the journey. So many revelations, so many changes, an overall new outlook on life. The celibacy journey led me into intense shadow work, which further led me into alignment with my soul's true desires.
I noticed a pretty significant change in my passion for tantric massage about two months ago. The clientele started changing. Too many were coming to me for the wrong reasons. I initially started tantric massage to help individuals get out of their heads and back into their bodies. My unique touch has led many into their own spiritual journeys, and for that I am grateful. The mass suppression of sexuality in our society was a huge driver for me. Many of my clients had never felt a touch that was slow, genuine, and intentional all at once. I leave confident in saying many now will never settle for anything less. However, there is an even larger amount of clientele that choose to stay in the root chakra, prioritizing their lustful desires, and have no intention on rising above the lower temptations. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't tell you the temptation was hard for me at times. A chiseled chocolate client with a nice cock was always a treat for me. But unfortunately, I can no longer be a part of that. The mundane practices of pulling and tugging genitalia to receive an orgasm are dissatisfying and quite frankly not what I came here to do!
Sexual energy is sacred, it is our lifeforce. The more we can build it up and send it up the spine, the more creative, and enlightened we will be. At this point, I can no longer share my sexual energy (Tantra is an exchange of sexual energy) with those who don’t share the same intention as me. I can no longer risk being drained of my energy. I now choose to keep it held tight, and will only allow those in that share the same energetic frequency as me! Basically, if you desire Nikki’s sexual energy, you must come with a very high ticket frequency! I am no longer playing small. Access DENIED.
Mastermind then I go master MINE. In these last five years in business, I dominated. In 2017 I left my 9-5 to be a full-time phone sex worker. I learned so much about humans and their dire need for sexual expression. In 2018 I created an online Facebook Group called #PussyTrauma. I grew the group to over 30,000 black women. I learned so much about women and the immense sexual trauma we have. I've hosted a plethora of healing circles, book clubs as well as cuddle puddles for members of the group. In 2019 I threw my first Play Party (Sex-Positive Extravaganza) with over 100 attendees. In 2021 I threw the party again and had over 400 attendees. I hosted the Erotic Christmas Social, in December 2021 and had over 150 attendees. 2019, I opened my Tadow Tantra studio and going strong for two years. I've given individuals permission to take their masks off, with my authenticity and not giving a fuck attitude. I have met the coolest people, created amazing memories, and learned SO MUCH. I show gratitude for my vision, my willpower, and my heart. If I want it, I go get it. Simple as that. I pray, that my drive has inspired each of you.
In life, things come and things go. Knowing this is the only thing that keeps me grounded. It’s very important that when something you do, even if you possess a true passion for it, no longer serves you, you must let it go! Trusting that the Universe has something even better on the other side, that’s more aligned with your true soul's purpose and higher self.
With that being said, I am closing the doors on Tadow FOR NOW. No more massage, no more events, no more cuddle puddles. 😢 It has all come to an end. It’s been an absolutely amazing five years! I've learned so much about myself, healing, and energy! It has been a pleasure serving you. I truly believe in this season I was sent with an anointing. I believe those that needed to feel that anointing has come and gone, and my work here is done. I have no clue if I’ll ever return to massage work. But as of now, I close this chapter.
It's time for solitude and self-reflection. Kinda feels like I'm going into hiding, lol. I have so much more I want to do in this world. My daughter and I are also gearing up for something really exciting. I am keeping my website for now, as I do want to stay in touch with you all and keep you abreast on my journey via my blog. Something also tells me that I will return to the world of sex one day, just in a different way.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! For all the love and support over the years. You all have really helped my dreams come true. Now it's on to bigger and better things!!!!!
My last day in the studio is July 1st, if you would like to see me one last time before I go, please schedule before then.
Until next time folk!
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."
- Lao Tzu
Darn…I hoped my next time in STL I could have shared/enjoyed your energy.…I wish you all the best in your next journey!