Kicked out of massage school. 😤

I’ve started and stopped writing this blog three times. I guess for some reason I just cannot find the words to describe the way I’m feeling. So, this may sound like a ramble, but it’s because I’m hurt and venting. On Wednesday last week, Terry, one of the administrators at The Healing Arts Center located in St.Louis, Mo. called to tell me that I’d been terminated from the school because of “what I do outside for work.” She went on to say the work I do is illegal (it’s how she said it yawll, with such assurance), and that it went against the school's code of conduct. She asked me if I had anything to say as if at that moment I was supposed to plead and beg or lie to keep my spot as a student. Yea I got something to say, Ms. Terry, the work I do IS NOT ILLEGAL. You wouldn’t begin to understand the lives that I help, the sexual trauma that I heal. I help MANY connect with their bodies again, through sensual erotic touch. So I get what you’re saying, you think it’s prostitution and it goes against what you all are about. But I would like to let you know you’re wrong. And it’s YOUR loss. She went on to say, okay, and the call ended.

Quiet as it’s kept, Terry ain’t been touched in a decade. Don’t ask me how I know.

Many would say, well Nikki you already know rejection is redirection and I would agree. But if I didn’t sit in the pain of being rejected yet again, I’d be doing myself a disservice. I had plans for this license. Many of you know I LOVE Miami and it’s my goal and dream to be a resident really soon. The licensure would help open an authorized studio in south beach. I saw it, I've been visualizing it, and soon I would’ve made it my reality. Everything I do is strategic, so it hurts because my plan A didn’t work. It hurts because I was learning a lot! As mad as I am at this school and its policies I can’t deny that Tom Tessuere the owner and headmaster was a wealth of knowledge. I loved his teaching style, I loved learning the basics about what it is I do best. Every time I learned something new I would apply it to a client immediately. There is no denying that I’m already AMAZING at what I do, not to sound cocky, it is what it is. I just believe you can never stop learning, there’s always more to know. And I absolutely felt at home every time I was in class. So yea, it’s a loss and it hurts. I had to cancel my clients this weekend just so I could sit in my shit. It’s so easy to feel like it’s YOU when someone rejects you. I know that isn’t the case but that's how I felt this weekend. So now that I’ve had time to digress I feel like I can finally let this shit go and move on.